“Je vais bientôt trouver mon chemin” is currently my favorite phrase, and is written in one of my favorite languages. Although I will most likely never be able to speak the language fluently, I can still appreciate how beautiful words and phrases are pronounced and spoken. This phrase translates to “I will soon find my way”, which is something I constantly keep telling myself for reassurance that I am not meant to know where I am going just yet.
Telling people that I aspire to become a freelance journalist/web designer is something that terrifies not only myself, but those who are also terrified for my life choices. Now that’s not saying that freelance is an awful career choice, because honestly the idea of free creativity, personal projects and creating for clients that are a fan of your individual style really excites me. I also understand that as soon as I have completed my degree I won’t be able to work for myself and will need to work for a company. Working for myself however, is the ultimate goal.
This means, finding my way to this ultimate goal regarding my career, as well as the pursuit to personal happiness, is going to include extremely turbulent times where I will just want to give up and continue my 9-5 job. I already feel as if I have experienced this. From September to now, (May 2017), I have pushed through some difficult situations and emotions that almost made me give up on my goals. Things build up and seem to explode all at the same moment, making things appear unsolvable and too difficult.
However, within all this pain and the rocky situations, I have discovered parts that I never knew about myself. I really enjoy reading and it wasn’t just something I enjoyed as a child. I have also discovered that poetry and writing in journals is therapy within itself and helps me disconnect with the world just long enough to compose my thoughts and feelings. I have discovered how much I want to travel this rock we call Earth and explore every single corner reachable. I have also realised how strong I actually am, and how I can do anything I want if I truly want it.
Although there has been a lot of pain throughout these few months, I have experienced so much that I never imagined I would and realised so much about myself through the bad. I can only anticipate the next months and years being similar to these few months I have experienced with such big changes to my life, maybe more difficult, maybe better. We will have to see. But as I said before, I will find my way soon and even if that’s not the near future, I am excited for the next chapter in my journey.